Understanding “Spirited Children”

Children with ADD or ADHD need support and understanding.

Wouldn’t it be nice if children came with instructions? This wish is especially true when kids struggle with symptoms of attention deficit disorder, hyperactivity, or the similar symptoms of childhood depression or anxiety. These children are so much better able to learn, cope and recover, and get along with both peers and adults when parents understand what is really going on with their children, and adjust their parenting style and support to the children’s special needs. The good news is this is not as difficult as we often tend to make it or expect it to be.

Parents of children with attention deficit disorder (and related symptoms) need help, training and support, just like the children do. This is now becoming more available through support groups, physicians, counselors, books and schools.

Many parents and professionals are still somewhat confused as to just what attention deficit disorder (ADD), or attention deficit with hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are and how it is identified. The names and definitions have changed over the past several years as a better understanding of the causes, symptoms and treatment has occurred.

Essentially, children with ADHD exhibit most , if not all of the following features.

Children with ADHD:

Seem to make careless mistakes
Do not appear to listen well even when spoken to directly
Rarely complete a task whether it is work or play
Have difficulty organizing what they are doing
Avoid or resist activities requiring sustained mental effort, such as homework
Seem to always be losing things
Are easily distracted by what’s going on around them
Forget what they are suppose to be doing
Are often restless, fidgety and squirmy
May run and climb excessively
Are rarely interested in quiet activities
Seem to act without thinking of the consequences
Are on the go and talking most of the time
Have difficulty awaiting their turn
Tend to interrupt conversations and intrude on other’s activities
Understanding "Spirited Children"

Because of these behaviors, they often have trouble making or keeping friends, are often in trouble at home and at school and may develop low self esteem as a result.

Some children display only the symptoms of attention deficit without hyperactive and impulsive behavior. These children struggle with poor concentration and memory, difficulty staying on task and appear to have poor listening skills. They are often viewed as underachievers because they may be quite intelligent, but are not performing well in the classroom. They may also be described as stubborn or obstinate when they don’t finish schoolwork or tasks they are asked to do at home.

Although both ADD and ADHD children may be very bright and capable intellectually, their school performance and grades suffer. Although they may have kind, sweet, fun personalities, their behaviors often get in the way of developing good relationships with others. Because of their own frustration they tend to make everyone around them frustrated as well.

Although their behaviors appear purposeful, they really don’t mean to drive everyone crazy. Very few children choose to repeat behaviors over and over that cause them to be in trouble day after day, to make lower grades, or to lose friends. Without appropriate intervention and support these children have very little control over their behavior.

Some children display the features of ADD or ADHD for short periods of time due to other related problems such as trauma or stress in their environment. These children are more likely to be anxious or depressed as a result of life experiences. Intervention for them would be somewhat different than for children with features of ADD or ADHD that have been ongoing for a long period of time.

Causes and Treatment

There is still much to learn about the causes and treatment of ADD and ADHD, but they are now believed to be mainly biologically-caused disorders. Family histories usually indicate other family members with similar difficulties. Other documented disorders such as alcoholism and substance abuse are also prevalent in family members. Difficult pregnancies, labor, or delivery are other possible causes, as are maternal viral infections, substance abuse, or poor nutrition.

The treatment of children with ADD or ADHD has come a long way in the past decade or so. Children are no longer “drugged into a stupor” as parents have heard in horror stories related to these disorders. The medications used to treat ADD and ADHD can be carefully adjusted and monitored so the children are simply able to think more clearly, concentrate for longer periods of time, and feel less agitated. Most children feel happier, sleep better, become more organized and are easier to get along with once the medication has begun to work.

Parental Support

The most important aspect of treatment, however, is the parents’ understanding and support including their willingness to help the child learn to become more organized, to feel positive about themselves and their abilities again, and to better learn or re-learn appropriate social behaviors. Supportive counseling for children and their parents and families can be extremely effective in the long range improvement of these children’s lives.

Many children outgrow the difficulties of ADD and ADHD as they get older, especially when early intervention and support occurs. With adequate treatment and support these children can be just as successful and happy as any other children, and their parents can be just as calm and peaceful as any other parents.

Mary Beth Myers, Ph.D.

Understanding "Spirited Children"